A Wretch Like Me.......

The more I seek God, the more He reveals to me about myself. It is amazing how God moves and works in the lives of His children. My study, devotion and prayer life have continued, however, I have not been attending church. In fact, I haven't been to church since April. This past Sunday my husband simply told me that I needed to get up and go to church - so I did. I had been struggling, asking the Lord to please change my heart, mind and my tongue. My prayer was for help in tuning out every voice but His so that I could learn of Him and grow. As sincere as I believe my worship is, I was beginning to wonder if God was accepting it. Was He pleased with me? I am so unworthy. A wretch. I longed for some perspective on my thoughts and feelings. He spoke to me through a preacher at Calvary Chapel. I had never attended this church before but found myself driving down the 405 freeway, south bound to Costa Mesa, California on a beautiful Sunday morning. God met me there and spoke directly to me.

The preacher preached on the intimacy in which God has relationship with His children. I needed desperately to be reminded of how perfectly He knows us, and always has each one of us on His mind. We are His creation. We are His children and nothing can separate us from His love for us. No matter who we are He loves us. When others cast us out, He extends a hand of love, grace and mercy. God has really led me to look inward. To take a good hard look at myself. I believe that in one of my earlier posts I mentioned the fact that God revealed some things that were in my heart that I did not like, and more importantly, that He did not like. There was no running from it, however, the mistake I was making was in looking at myself through my eyes and not through the eyes of God. Seeing myself in His reflection allowed me to see my error, ask for forgiveness, and then ask for His precious Holy Spirit to aid me in truly turning away from even every thought that sought or seeks to exalt itself above Him. The preacher used several scriptures in his sermon that day but Matthew 10:29-31 was what spoke to me:
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.  God's intimate and loving relationship with us is so very beautiful. When i am witnessing to people on the street, He was there. When I was talking badly about my neighbor, He was there. When I was in the hospital giving birth to our son, who had no heart beat and no breath in his body, He was there. When I was less than compassionate towards another child of God, He was there. The eyes of the Lord are in every place beholding both the good and the evil. And so, the omnipresence of God is both comforting and convicting. A loving Father who knows every hair on my head and then assures me that He takes care of even the sparrow - so how much more then does he care for even a wretch like me.......

If you do not know God and have not accepted Jesus Christ as savior, then I invite you to accept Him and the truth of His Gospel right now. I don't know what I would do without Him. My life has meaning because of Him. You having nothing to lose but everything to gain. Ask Him with a sincere heart - Lord, if you are who you say you are, reveal yourself to me right now. When He does,  do NOT reject that revelation. He stands at the door of your heart knocking....answer.

Be blessed...................